That Certain Night (3/5)

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Title: That Certain Night

Author: Meabhair

Summary: AU – Ianto Jones turned down an interview with his ex’s company and decided on a better offer.

Characters: Ianto Jones, Rose Taylor, 9^th Doctor

Pairing: budding Rose/Doctor, prior Ianto/Lisa

Warnings: AU, un-beta’d, PG-13  

Spoilers: Season 1 New Who, pre Season 1 Torchwood

 

Disclaimer: This work is not intended for profit, and all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s). Torchwood is ©2006-present British Broadcasting Service Wales (BBC Wales).   Doctor Who is © 1963-present British Broadcasting Service (BBC). Copyrighted material is used without permission of the BBC. 

 

Chapter 3 of 5

Coffee beans don’t usually cause hallucinations, and considering the amount of coffee that Ianto usually consumed, he’d have figured it out much sooner than this if it had, surely. He squinted slightly, but nope, that still looked like an overgrown puffer fish standing in the middle of the coffee shop, between the couple who seemed to be still in their seats and the door. Well, also between himself and the door, but still. This was defiantly not on The List of Things to Do today. Nope.

Ianto realised that he’d missed something in his shock of seeing a six foot something, walking, talking fish in his place of work. Should walking, talking fish move that fast? And even if they do, they shouldn’t go round grabbing one of his customers and hauling her up while shouting for valuables. And waving that thing around in the air was just going to get someone hurt. Ianto also recognised the look on the face of the guy who was slowly standing up. If he didn’t want to have to be cleaning up teeth or sushi from the floor during the busy time, he’d better say something to diffuse the situation as he unobtrusively moved forward round the counter. 

“No, no diamonds. No rubies, no emeralds, no shiny sparklie rocks. It’s a coffee shop, for coffee. And tea. And hot beverages, like hot chocolate. It’s also not an outlet for smuggling drugs. Hello, was the sign not enough of a hint? The House Of Coffee?  No? Well, let me make it clear. There. Are. No. Gems. In. The. Coffee. Shop”

The sheer barrage of information coming from a employee who should have been stunned into silence, wrapped in a deepening Welsh accent, seemed to completely catch the walking fish off guard. He blinked, which was fairly impressive considering the size of his eyes. The blond girl in his arms took advantage of this, twisting and jerking her elbow back. Hard. Oh, yep, that’d have to hurt. Ianto had to restrain his instinctive impulse to wince and cover himself.

Ianto noticed that his hand seemed to reach out and grab the girl’s arm and pull her behind him, all without letting his brain kick in. Good call, hand, well done, he thought. He backed them both towards the door, ignoring the dark mutterings coming from chest height behind him, something along the lines of chauvinistic hero complexes, but that was not quite as important as getting them both out of the way of that thing. First time seeing an alien or not, growing up on the estate that he had, he’d seen enough addicts to recognise some symptoms. 

He also couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been in drawing a hyped up druggie’s attention to himself. Well, note to self: Kick Jones’ arse for being a twat later. Second note: Make him look up the definition of ‘defuse’ also. Yep, that was a plan, alright, now all he had to do was get out of this place safely. He also intended on re-thinking his decision to move to London on the grounds that less weird stuff happened there than in Cardiff.

As Ianto’s brain processed this for him, he noticed the older bloke. When he’d come into the cafe with the blonde, he seemed like a regular guy, good looking in an unusual way, but nothing special. But now, he looked larger, scarier and defiantly not the type you’d want to meet in a dark alley. Despite the fish being a scary thing, it was looking at this nearly nondescript man that sent the first shivers of terror down Ianto’s spine. 

“Now, I don’t mind a bit of fun, I don’t mind someone pushing boundaries. When I was young, I made a bit of an art form of it. But this? This threatening people, this abuse of a privilege given to you by your family? And in this place? You would threaten me?”

The fish person sneered, obviously unimpressed with the man standing alone in front of him. 

“You would lecture me, you small little man?”

Ianto had to think that the fish was suicidal on some level. A person’d have to be crazy to take on that tone of voice. Or somebody who’d listened to too many Bond villains. Not that Ianto’d know anything about that. Nope. And the fact that the leather jacket guy was smiling a smile that would make Jaws turn tail had no effect on the fish wouldn’t make Ianto question his sanity. Much.

“Who me? I’m nobody special, me. Just the Doctor.”

There was a moment of silence, while Ianto wondered what was so special about being in the profession that made a gift of illegible writing. The talking fish seemed to have a different reaction, with the whole going pale orange thing and the dropping head-fin thing. 

The moment dragged out a little more, Ianto felt a quip about to bubble up towards his lips, when the moment was shattered.  The alien, and it had to be an alien, turned and bolted towards the door and on towards the far end of the street. The leather jacketed man ran after him, followed by the blonde girl and Ianto. As he raced along behind them, Ianto wondered when his body had decided that his brain should not be consulted in these situations, but now he was running there was no point in stopping now. 

Chapter 4 of 5